Resident introvert here.
I recently finished a two-year solo backpacking trip across Asia and Europe, and I’m here to share some of my favorite icebreakers to jump-start conversations with anyone.
Here’s a fact: most people in hostels are very open to conversation and making new friends. And, if you see someone sitting on their phone in the common room, there's a good chance they’re not actually busy and would love to chat.
So: Don't be afraid to say hello or ask a question. Hostels aren’t like most typical environments where striking up a conversation with a stranger is seen as odd.
After ‘hello’, conversations usually flow naturally as long as you have a good icebreaker - also known as: an interesting question to quick-start a conversation.
Tips for Choosing a Social Hostel
Read reviews! You can filter through them by searching for the word ‘social’ and see what people have recently said about them.
However… be mindful that if you’re an introvert, you MIGHT feel like a very social environment is a bit overwhelming. In that case, look for reviews that showcase that a hostel is a bit quieter. I’ve personally found it easier to socialize in quieter environments with fellow introverts, but I also enjoy the diversity and high energy of ‘social’ hostels.
It’s As Simple as ‘Hey’
Getting the initial hello is the hardest part, as for the ‘ice-breakers' themselves, here are questions that you can actually use as conversation starters:
- ''Where are you headed next?''
- ''What are you plans for [city we're in]?''
- "Where were you before here?"
- "What brought you to this place?"
- "Where are you from?" (very basic but still works)
- ‘’What would surprise people about your home country?’’
- "I'm going go out and grab a beer/drink/cafe/tea at X place, wanna join? "
- ‘’Have you visited the temple/monument/something popular yet?
- "How long are you traveling for?"
- "What are you doing today?"
- "What are your plans for tomorrow?"
- ''Want to play cards/board game/pool?''
- ''What do you do for a living? (Follow up: and do you enjoy that?)''
- ''I'm off to the beach/market/pub/Star Wars themed escape room – want to join?''
- ''I really like your bag/T-shirt/Accessories – where did you buy them?''
- ''What’s your best memory of your trip so far?'' (Follow up: and your worse?)''
- ''What is something boring about you?''
- ''What's your favorite icebreaker?'' (mine is 2 truths and 1 lie)
- ''Have you tried the hostel's breakfast/dinner?''
- ''What was the last trip you were on?''
- ''What’s your favorite book?''
- ''Any recommendations for local food?''
- ''Have you been on any fun tours or activities?''
- ''Are you traveling solo or with friends?''
- "I love your accent! Where are you from?''
- ''What's your go-to travel snack?''
- ''What's the craziest travel story you have?''
- ''What’s the best meal you’ve had while traveling?''
- ''What's one piece of advice you would give to someone new to traveling?''
- ''What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten while traveling?''
- ''What’s the worst travel advice you’ve ever received?''
- ''What’s the most unusual mode of transportation you’ve used?''
- ''What's the biggest challenge you've faced while traveling?''
- Buy a pack of beer/juice, and offer to share. Ex: ‘’I have this extra beer, want to drink with me?’’
How To Ditch Someone You Regret Breaking the Ice With
So, you’ve introduced yourself, you’ve hopefully had a conversation. But… you haven’t clicked with the person in front of you, and they suddenly can’t seem to let you go? Here are ways to get rid of them:
Gentle Honesty: "It was great chatting, but I'm going to explore on my own for a bit."
Join a group activity: If the hostel is hosting an event or there's a group outing, this is a great way to naturally separate yourself.
Use your itinerary: "I'm heading to [place] alone for the afternoon/evening. Have a great time here!" and if they don’t get the hint, tell them you needed some alone time today.
Fake an errand: Say you need to pick something up from a store, run a quick errand, or make an important call. Sometimes you just need to lie and ask for forgiveness from whatever it is you believe in
When all else fails, be blunt: Tell the person in front of you that they seem great, but you’re just not vibing with them. I’ve done that once before and haven’t died, so you’re safe.
Worst Icebreakers
Now… here are some of the worst ice-breakers you could use at a hostel, feel free to use them for your social experiment:
- "Do you snore loudly? I hope not."
- ''Can I borrow your toothbrush?''
- "What's the worst crime you've committed?"
- "Do you have any contagious diseases?"
- "Are you okay with bed bugs? Because I think I brought a few with me...’’
- "How many people have you annoyed today?"
- "Do you think they'll notice if we don't pay for our stay?"
- "Have you ever been kicked out for inappropriate behavior?"
- "How long do you think you can go without showering?"
- "Do you think it's okay to borrow someone's stuff without asking?"
Travel Cheaper, Travel Longer